Festivus Fat Ass 50K

It's a Festivus for the rest-of-us! None of these weak holiday runs like 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, or Ground Hog Day...this is THE holiday run that you've waited all year for...FESTIVUS! See photo of a past winner.

 

What's a Fat Ass?

So, what's a Fat Ass? Well, other than a common physical trait among most of the participants it's a term used in the ultra-running world that means that the run isn't an official event.

This is an official Fat Ass event, which means that it's not an official event. There are:

  • No entry fees
  • No T-shirts
  • No awards
  • No sponsors
  • No aid stations (bring your own fluids & nutrition)
  • No road or trail closures (so obey all normal trail etiquette and traffic laws)
  • No time cutoffs
  • No cheering crowds...don't show up if you're expecting tons of spectators (other than funny looks from passersby)
  • No bitchin' or whinin'
  • No wimps
  • Plus, this one will likely be cold, windy, and maybe even icy if conditions are normal for that time of year

Wow, that sounds terrible. What is there?

  • A date, time, and place
  • A course or route
  • Bragging rights
  • Good people
  • Great fun
  • Possible social events following the run at a local food/drink establishment

Since it's not an official event it also means that that anyone that wants to participate is welcome. If you want to participate in this Fat Ass but don't want to run 50K (let's say you want to run 5, 10, or 20 miles) that's OK since it's not an official event. Just don't claim that you did do the 50K or you'll get a Fat Ass Whoopin'.

 

When and where and is this so called Fat Ass?

Since this isn't an official event we don't have official event information. However, there will be a group of ultra-runners meet at the Worthington Hills Park near the gazebo on in mid-December 2010 (either a Saturday or Sunday and date will be announced) at 8:30 AM. It's a small park right off SR-315 behind the Olentangy Valley Center Shopping Mall about a mile north of I-270. Here is a mapto the start/finish location.

 

What's the official route of this unofficial event?

The entire course follows the Olentangy Bike Path (OPB) other than a few places where the trail ends and you need to take streets to where the trail resumes. We'll start at the northern-most trail head at Worthington Hills Park and travel south on the bike path all of the way to our turn-around point (located approx. 1/2 mile south of I-70 on the Whittier peninsula). Here is a route map.

We'll start at the Worthington Hills Park gazebo. Below is a basic "run" down the route. The just keep in mind that the OBP follows the Olentangy River so if you are ever in doubt at a trail intersection, simply go "down-river" to the turn-around point before returning to the gazebo.

- Mile 0-1 - Leave Worthington Hills Park gazebo and travel south approx. 1 mile. This is one of the newer portions of the OBP and will travel under I-270. The trail is on the west side of the river. You will cross a foot bridge (to the east side of the river) and come to a T intersection on the trail. Turn right and continue south (you'll be heading "down-river all the way to the turn-around). If you pass the Skate Park shortly after this turn you're heading the right way. If you pass the Tennis Courts then you went the wrong way.

- Mile 2-3.5. This next section of the OBP travels through Worthington and takes you past Thomas Worthington H.S. Once you go under SR-161 the trail bends left (east) for a short distance, heads up a slight grade, and then has a Y intersection on the trail. Turn left to head west across the SR-161 bridge. This will take you from the east side of the river to the west side of the river. The trail will bend to the left (south) and follow alongside SR-315 to Antrim Lake.

- Antrim Lake has a 1.2 mile crushed gravel trail that circles the lake...don't take that! Stay on the paved trail and continue south. There is a small observation deck at Antrim Lake that would make a nice place for friends/family to see you.

- Mile 3.5-6. Continue south on the OBP and go under the Henderson Road bridge. The trail bends to the right making a loop that will take you across the Henderson Road bridge from the west side of the river to the east side of the river. Pay attention crossing this bridge as the trail makes a hard right turn and continues south.

- Mile 6-7.5. As you move toward and through Whetstone Park you will see several trail intersections...just keep moving south and follow the river. Once past Whetstone Park you will immediately be in Northmoor Park.

-Mile 7.5-8.25. The trail will appear to end in the Northmoor Park parking lot. Turn left and follow the entrance road to Olentangy Blvd and turn right (south). Continue on Olentangy Blvd which will bend to the left and change names to Kenworth Road. Take the first right (south) onto Milton Ave. and cross North Broadway (busy intersection). Continue south on Milton and turn right (west) onto Delhi Ave to Riverside Dr. where you will turn left (south). Continue south for about 1 block and you will see where the OBP resumes. You are now in Como Park.

- Mile 8.25-9.25. You will move from Como Park across the foot bridge over river (which is briefly flowing southeast) and you will be south of the river. The OBP will bend to the left as you enter the OSU Wetlands Area. The trail then bends to the right and you'll be heading south again. As you leave the Wetlands Area you will go across another footbridge over the river (which is flowing south again) to the east side of the river.

- Mile 9.25-10.25. You'll continue south along the river to a Y intersection (you'll see some baseball fields nearby) where you'll veer right (still along the river) and go under the Lane Avenue Bridge followed shortly by going under the Woody Hayes Drive bridge. The trail currently dead-ends here so you will need to run up the embankment back to the paved trail. There is currently construction here and they are trying to connect the two paths...so this might be complete by the date of this non-event.

- Mile 10.25-11.75. You're still traveling south along the river. The trail will transform to sidewalk and pass in front of the old Ohio Union building. The trail will make a hard right turn followed shortly by a hard left turn (you are within several feet of the river at this point) and go under the Campus Loop Road Bridge. You'll soon go under the King Avenue Bridge and the Fifth Avenue Bridge and headed toward the Third Avenue Bridge. At the Third Avenue Bridge you will make a hard right and cross the bridge moving from the east side of the river to the west side of the river. Once you have crossed the bridge the trail will make a hard 180 degree right hand turn and take you down and under the Third Avenue Bridge and then back up to street level.

- Mile 11.75-14.25. The path meanders between SR-315 and the river until you get to the intersection of US-33 (also called Dublin Road). Pay attention to the traffic signal, cross US-33 and make a hard left. You'll quickly cross a footbridge (you'll see the confluence of the Olentangy River and the Scioto River if you look to the right). This trail, which is now following the Scioto River moves you toward downtown Columbus through several small riverside parks. You'll run right past the Santa Maria ship and go up the stairs at Broad Street.

- Mile 14.25-14.75. Obey the traffic signals and cross Broad Street continuing south bound on the sidewalk along the river. You'll come to an intersection at the Town St. bridge...obey traffic signals. As you get to Bicentennial Park near the old Main Street Bridge there is construction (at least there is as I'm writing this) and you'll need to run around it and head back toward the sidewalk which then turns back into the paved trail along the river.

- Mile 14.75-15.5. Follow the trail under the I-70 bridges and continue approximately 1/2 mile to the turn-around point. We'll have specific instructions the morning of the FFA50K about the turn-around point so don't be late (geez...that almost sounds official)! At the turn-around point you simply reverse these directions and head north all the way back to the Worthington Hills Park gazebo!

 

What should I bring to this Fat Ass?

If we haven't scared you away and you're still thinking about joining us then bring whatever you need. This includes your own fluids, nutrition, and support crew if you want. Some toilet paper in a zip lock bag isn't a bad idea either especially if you had mexican the day before the race. We might even have the FFA50K Cheerleader Squad on hand! See past photo of these MEGA-hotties!

Weather in central Ohio in mid-December could be very mild (50's or 60's) or bitter cold, windy, snowy and icy. The first annual FFA50k brought bitter temperatures, strong winds, flooded/icy trails so dress accordingly. If you have friends or family that can't bear to see you suffer then have them meet you a various places along the course with water, Gatorade, food, change of clothes, etc. If they really want to help out then ask if they would be willing to provide water or food for other FFA50K runners like an aid station might offer. Bring a camera if you are so inclined but share the photos with the others if you do take photos. Bring $$ and ID if you want to join the others for food and drink at the Rusty Bucket afterward.

 

How dang hilly is this crazy thing?

Duh...it's all along the river so it's all river grade. It starts as a whooping 764 ft above sea level and goes all the way down to a paltry 709 ft above sea level at the turn around point on the Whittier Peninsula. Yes, you will descent a massive 55 feet over 15 miles before climbing the same impressive height over the next 15 miles back to the start area. Of course, there a a few over-passes or under-passes along the way so that might add an extra 15 ft of elevation change. Most pancakes aren't this flat. Can you say PR!

 

Questions

I'm slightly intrigued but still have questions, who should I contact? Don't expect an official contact for an unofficial event. Just submit your question here.